Welcome to another new feature, these little bite size blogs are quick easier reading – and mainly quick thought/experience based!!
With that said; on we go!
So, I have been assisting someone who was facing a pretty sad family situation – with a certain inevitability about it. We’ll call them Steve, as they wish to remain anonymous but have given me their blessing to write this in hope it will help others facing similar!
Steve, facing this inevitability, faced a peculiar situation – experiencing grief almost before grief is required. This rendered them stuck, feeling sad, lacking self-belief and then on top, giving themselves a telling off for feeling those things. Now Steve and I are good friends, I mean I don’t even want strangers feeling like this if I can help, never mind friends!
There is no way, from that perspective and mindset, which is pretty natural by the way, that they would possibly get the best from this tragic situation – facing the loss of someone close, whilst they’re still with you. The best you say? Yes. The best. Because these thoughts and emotions were preventing Steve from being able to be with the person in the family who would benefit from their warmth, their love, and their kindness – as well as creating precious moments.
The first step was to accept what was happening, and that the pain was natural – and what, at their best self, they would ideally like to do, and what indeed, was preventing that? The fear and sadness I knew, unfortunately, if allowed to run free, would result in regrets further down the line. I also knew, Steve had the courage to do this. We are ALL capable so often of much more than we believe; through conditioning, habitual thinking, past experiences etc, and how those memory centres trigger or prevent other parts of the mind functioning – which destroys our motivation & can leave us stuck!
Steve, fully engaged with this, and after a few days of struggle – again, deeply painful for him and understandable – he did it. He faced the thing he was fearing, and guess what? It was not as bad as he thought. It was hard, yes, and indeed facing what he faced WOULD be hard. If it wouldn’t have been, he’d be a robot!! However, as deeply emotional as the situation is, they have found within themselves a new level of courage, and of giving, and of loving. A level that was there, but just masked by the fear and lack of self-confidence in their ability to do what they’ve done.
Not only this, but Steve is now inspired to help OTHERS going through this!! They’ve got involved with a charity that helps people in this situation. They feel more empowered and have an enormous amount of empathy and love for others which is now being released. Their understanding of the struggles, the feelings etc has driven them to become impassioned and inspired and to focus their own pain, and emotions, in a congruent and specific direction to do good.
This remains difficult for Steve, there are ups and downs, and you know what? That’s fine. Of course, there will be! But it took Steve to make the decision to own his own power, to make the decision to do it, to use mindfulness to help him through it, to now be applying this to helping others whilst still going through it is something I am unbelievably an incredibly proud of Steve for!!
The reason for wanting to share this message, all be it anonymously, is the hope it will give a bit of inspiration to someone else. That you CAN find more courage than you realise inside of you. And that your mind can be good at telling you that you cannot, when in fact, you really can.
Steve, you’ve done so freaking awesome my friend. I am beyond proud of you which you know. I am inspired by your courage, and now your desire to help others, your empathy, and the love you’ve shown. You engaged, you worked at it, you broke through, and I hope this is just the start of a new amazing direction & confidence to take forward into other areas of your life. God knows my friend, you deserve it.
Stay Mindful folks!
Love to you all,