Judgment is a funny old thing…
We make many errors of it, or seeming errors of it, in our personal lives. Are they lessons we are here to learn? Are we predestined to make these mistakes, is there a blend of free will and fate?
Sorry if you were expecting an answer to those questions. That’s not the point of this blog post. The point of this blog post, is really, nosiness.
You know the sort… Sticky beaks. Interfering busy bodies (or people trying to help).
Yes, I am sure you do. This writer is going for the straight talking kind of “mindfulness” here. Now I am not (although it’s hard, given how much it’s affected my own life, and I’m sure yours too) going to judge those that do interfere. But my gosh, those people create problems. And what is the source of those problems ultimately again? Well, if you haven’t guessed by now – here’s the answer.
Yes, this unseemly monster makes an appearance. If you can find hurt, argument, misjudgment, fighting etc in the world, on the whole what you are dealing with is the ego. This can provoke serious dissonance in many people. Why? Because the ego is most likely reading this, and isn’t terribly happy it’s just been outed. And if you find someone with a very strong ego, good luck to you in explaining to them what’s going on – irrespective of what your intentions are, or how you do it.
Not a very positive post so far is it?
Well, it’s not meant to be. That’s why. This is getting worse, and most people in the world want peace in their lives, and around them, and until the realisation of what is creating discord and disharmony is accepted for what it is, in its totality, things will not get better. There is an urgency about this. And an aspect of self defeating.
What about “nosiness” then?
This is a very day to day example of the ego in action. It watches others, pokes its nose in, judges others whom they do not know, or tells people what they should or shouldn’t be doing. I am going to be straight up here, and tell you, when I’ve tried to teach some people this, it’s backfired HUGELY (lessons, hard ones, very hard) – because you are judged by the standards of that person’s ego, and the interactions and experiences they themselves have had, so your core message or intention is entirely lost. This has of course, then set off chains of my emotions and experiences/patterns (as spoken of in “about me“) in myself and it seldom ends very well. And the ego likes to be fed what it is used to experiencing, so if there’s then a chance to feast upon pain, hurt, it will use you to gorge with little thought if any for the damage that is being inflicted.
It is emotional blindness.
Those who you see dishing out “advice” as to what they should do about such and such a person, or bitching, being catty etc has, from my experience, has got very little to do with the deeper consciousness of that person, and they are simply acting a role to feed the emotional digestive system of the egoic sense of “self” – which is, incidentally it appears, entirely abstract and false. Simply a set of programs running constantly in the background. When people “sticky beak”, their core intentions may well be good, but how that manifests out through the ego is often disastrous or counterproductive. They can NEVER be truly aware of all the facts, feelings, circumstances etc because even the person they’re advising who they may think they know well, is viewing what has happened through their own personal “filters” (no one sees the world exactly as it is, ever), and then expressing their experiences, that they viewed through their personal filters, via their ego.
What an unholy mess!
A quick example (bare with this, it’s important to understanding!)
An argument takes place. Person A has one version experience, Person B has another version experience, and of course there’s the ACTUAL experience – so there now exist 3 REALITIES.
Person A, then visits the 3rd party, explains THEIR experience (using their ego, which needs feeding), and “sticky beak” 3rd party, gets stuck in (using their even bigger ego, which also needs feeding) and adds more story/problems that probably weren’t there in the first place (seldom can the advice be good based on one person PERCEPTION/ego alone!).
So now, Person A starts making decisions/finger pointing/furthering an argument which has gone through a 3rd party’s perception filter AND ego, and comes back out again regurgitated, back through Person A’s perception filter AGAIN…
So now Person A is trying to communicate back to Person B (who for argument’s sake, hasn’t spoken to anyone) about their version of events, which is even further diluted by both multiple perception filters, AND egos…
(That was hard work)
And people wonder why we have problems communicating!!
You see, I don’t teach people what to think. I don’t even teach people HOW to think. I teach people about the difference between consciousness and thought, and invite them to experience it for themselves, the dissociation between the two and the benefit it can have over all in yours, and others lives. Not everyone is ready, not everyone understands, and it’s an absolute fallacy trying to understand what is going on in thoughts using thoughts.
But this is the danger of “sticky beaking”, judging others when you don’t know the circumstances and personal issues/ego are twanged and your response to the other person can be based on YOUR experiences, not theirs.
This is just in a very basic sense as well. It can create ruin, devastate lives, cause more stress and harm than good. It is the realm of ego. I wrote this post because of all the bad advice I am seeing going around Twitter, some of it is absolutely awful – well intended, but utterly diabolical – which if people took literally could create HUGE problems.
“The road to Hell is paved with good intention” as a server in a supermarket once told me, and scared the daylights out of me, because I realised… intention is not enough.
So, I am not judging others who do it. Just simply using it to demonstrate how perception filters/ego can infiltrate every aspect of daily life, and the more profound it becomes, the more divided/selfish/caustic our lives can become.
First hand experience? You betcha. But hopefully this post will encourage others to sit back, stay calm, remember who they’re speaking with, be a little more aware of their own patterns, be mindful of others placing their patterns into your life no matter how well intentioned – because I can tell you this, with hand on heart…
The only solution I found to disarming this in my own life, is mindfulness.