The world is in deep need of peace.
This is how I have arrived here, and what I am aiming to do.
Minds are fractious, worn out, tired, distracted, stressed. Indeed so is my own. Wanting to help relieve others of this suffering is what drove me to do this. My journey to you, was not one paved with gold, peace and calm. It’s been paved with inner torture, anxiety, stress, hidden depression, a string of near huge successes that became utter abject failures and simply added more and more to my “story” that I’ve carried around every day. Mountains of hurt, disappointment, resentment, what ifs… just raw, powerful, painful emotions.
I finally, pretty much, broke to decide to start up @liveyournow after becoming totally disillusioned with my direction, and realising, I was far from alone…
“But hang on, if you feel so crap, do the techniques you teach work?”
…I can imagine some asking.
Of course! Some perspective is required.
I have had chronic anxiety, ridiculous OCD, and destroyed so many relationships around me that I used to not be able to put a shoe on without worrying how I was doing it. But this evening, I’ve built this blog at 5am (well, evening…), written this introduction, and put it straight up – hence its conversational nature.
It’s me. Authentic. Raw. From the heart. With emotional pain that before would have prevented me even thinking about it (and certainly not sharing it!). Although that pain is there. I no longer identify with it. It is not “me”. It is important. I will show you how, and why.
This is a journey, not a destination. Mindfulness etc is not something you DO. It is about who you are. The person you know, when all is quiet and you are experiencing those moments of calm, when you feel alive, but peaceful, and your mind is quiet, not artificially worn out or inebriated. It is not an abstract concept. Thought is abstract, mindfulness is always there. It isn’t a thing you “do”.
It is you.
So if you want someone who’s gone through the “wringer” to get here. Pushed through nervousness, anxiety, pain, depression, no confidence, fear etc – then stick around and join me on my journey and I can share what I have learned, and what I continue to learn. There is no doubt, the “universe” or whatever has decided it wants me right here, right now, doing this – and if I’ve learned one thing, an absolutely critical thing, if you ignore that… sh!t tends to get worse until you listen.
A thank you…
On that note, I wouldn’t have done this without the encouragement of people I have helped, telling me, for some reason, the world “needs me” (quite what for I’m not entirely sure!) In fact, I was threatened with being dragged into doing this by my ears if I did not listen! But then I still marvel at the difference that has been made to their lives and it would be deeply selfish to put my own fears ahead of the potential wellness of others. Because during periods of pain, I actually try to put out more positive energy into the world to balance out my own present negativity.
So thank you to those who have seen the me, behind the “me”. Who came with open hearts and mind, and who wanted more peace. Who have valued what I gave to them, when I gave it. Those souls are rare gems in life, and they know who they are. They believe in what I do, and even though I believed I could help others. I was never sure I could help people en masse, but their faith in me has not wavered. Their patience with me not worn. And somehow intrinsically value the intention behind what I am doing even on my bad days. They are real, true, diamonds and by God I have needed them.
“So do you actually KNOW anything, and can I do it?”
I am not always the most patient of people, so if I can do this. You can.
I have studied different modalities now for 10 years – usually self testing, including a long course of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy as well as EFT, Law of Attraction, Shamanism, Ancient Wisdom, and now back where I began and left, mindfulness. I am personally spiritual, but do not expect that of others. I am an empath, which some believe do not exist (which of course, is easy for the ego of others to judge whom are not in touch with their own – or do not recognise it), and I respect people who are religious as I am not arrogant enough to suggest anyone truly knows what the force of life is, and faith is so important.
But the main, overarching message I wish to share is this:
Peace in this world begins with us. Each one of us.
Thank you for taking the time to read my first blog post/introduction page.
I hope I can help you ultimately, be a little bit more you.